::Retro'sgalgarden::

I am back!

2006-09-07T15:04:00.000+08:00

Woah woah woah... Tym has once rocketed past n 1 whole mth became history in de blink of de eye... I haf nt been blogging nwadaes but ppl i m nt dead! Haha... Lots, lots n lots of things haf been happening in my life fer all these while... But juz sumhw i dun reali noe hw 2 start on topic(s) of my life... Hmm, lets tok abt de more recent 1s den...

Hung out wif my sec sch pals at Sentosa on sat fer Xinfu's buthdae... It was all fun n de sun! =D My face gt badly sunburnt n it's stil pinkish nw! Haha! Dear dear went wif me too n as usual he din reali get burnt... *sticks out tongue nastily*

Din feel lye gg 2 wrk on mon, so i got an MC... hmm, yeah, i m wrking nw, nt studying actually... Hehe, well, it's high tym i stop de suspicious feeling tat haf been gg arnd my frends... Yah, i quit sch lye more than 2 mths? I noe i surely sound strange wen ppl ask me abt my sch life... I wud be gg lye "Erh..., Aaa..., Hmm..." Haa, i juz din lye wat i m studying... I wana do sumthing i luv! Coz I LUZ MY LIFE! I luv my family, my Dear dear, my frends n all de material property i haf... =) So i decided 2 study sumthing i luv... I wana study sumthing 2 do wif fashion... No surprise 2 any1 hu noes me well, i guess? Haha...

N so i went 2 wrk on tue... FYI, i wrk at 19th floor Central Plaza near Tiong Bahru Plaza... My office has a scenaric view of de whole CBD area n Captial Tower! Wee! But i wun be wrking dere fer long fer i dun lye de male wrking environment... It's a jap firm full of male engineers, nt those stylo-milo 1s we c in tv dramas, but they r most traditional japs hu dun even haf their hair dyed! Eeks, n so i kept 2 myself moz of de tym... Haiz...

Tue which was de 5th was our anniversary... Yet i spoilt Dear Dear's plans of gg 2 1 of our fav hang out- Mount Faber Altivo fer i contracted urinary tract infection n had 2b sent 2 SGH A & E Dept... De pain was moz unbearable n i haf 2 haf my urine tested... Eeks, btw, i was lye urinating blood tat dae n i was so afraid tat i wud juz drop dead... Thankfully aft 45mins of diagnose, i was able 2 collect my medicine n go hm... But i'll haf 2 go back 2 c a specialized gynecologist on fri fer a second round of examination... My doc even called me aft i got hm n was bathing... i was told tat if i developed high fever i'll haf 2b hospitalised... Well, nw, i m lye pumping water into my stomach every nw n then... Hopefully i'll haf a speedy recovery...

Nvtheless, Dear Dear's prezzies managed 2 cheer my up alot!!!!!!!! HEE!!!!! He bought me lye tons of things it seems... I received:
1) an ikea hart shaped red cushion which i nw dearly call "Hart Hart" (haha)
2) 2 stylo self made boxes from ikea which i mentioned 2 Dear Dear tat i lye
3) 1 beautiful cherry dress fer 1 of my fav boutique- Valerie's Corner ( i haf de membership! =D)
4) 1 bouquet of forget-me-nots! Pretty purples!
5) 1 platinum debit card...

MAN, HE GAVE ME A DEBIT CARD TO USE!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN"T BELIEVE MY OWN EYES>.<
It's a purple 1 summore call CapitaCard... Wee! Nw i can sign my name fer my purchases juz lye a credit card... Wahaha... *smiles wif much glee* So happi, so happi...

Guilt slowly engulfed me as i stil haf nt given my Dear Dear anything but a tatty bear card... Well, my pay hasn't cum so i can't tk actions on wat i wana buy... It's aso a pity tat my com has sumthing wrong n tat i can't post de pics of my wonderful prezzies... Nvtheless, i m still overjoyed... =D

*Rain or shine, it's u i wana c u at de break of dawn...*

2006-08-02T17:51:00.000+08:00

Our lovely The Rice Table dishes... All on de metal heater, ready 2b eaten by piggy me n Dear Dear... Haa...

2006-08-02T17:48:00.000+08:00

Our appetitiser crackers... dip sum of them into sambal chilli n yummy they becum...

2006-08-02T17:47:00.000+08:00

Left: i can't rem wat...
Right: My ayam soup...

2006-08-02T17:46:00.000+08:00

Sate Ayam- chicken satay... Tasty tasty...

2006-08-02T17:45:00.000+08:00

Daging Rendang- stew curry beef... Nice nice... Licks lips fer tis one...

2006-08-02T17:43:00.000+08:00

Tahu telor- tofu omelette... I luv tis one!

2006-08-02T17:42:00.000+08:00

Ayam Pangang- grilled chicken...

2006-08-02T17:41:00.000+08:00

Ikan Goreng- fried fish...

2006-08-02T17:40:00.000+08:00

Ayam Kalio- chicken curry...

2006-08-02T17:37:00.000+08:00

Telong kecap- egg plant...

2006-08-02T17:36:00.000+08:00

Sayur Loleh...

2006-08-02T17:33:00.000+08:00

Sambal Udang- spicy prawns...

2006-08-02T17:32:00.000+08:00

Otar Otar...

2006-08-02T17:25:00.000+08:00

Fruit salad... Tis reali has a special taste! Orange, pineapple and apple mixed in a spicy saucse...

2006-08-02T17:18:00.000+08:00

Tis is Achar- pickled cucumber...

2006-08-02T17:15:00.000+08:00

Kang Kong which is actually called convolvulus...

The Rice Table

2006-08-02T17:04:00.000+08:00

Was feeling rather down due 2 sumthing stressful in de morning yesterdae so Dear Dear brought me 2 The Rice Table fer lunch!!!! Yummy! I always luv The Rice Table!! It's an indonesian restaurant whr food is served 2 u in small clay plates... It's buffet style in a sense tat dere's tis metal heater in front of u n de waiters will serve different types of spicy food tat u can heat up... Up to 8 varieties of food fer lunch i tink... Dinner will haf a wider variety... Aft u fin de 1st round of wat i call "food testing", u may request fer a second round of those dishes u tink is nice... I luv de satay, de beef stew n de tofu omettele... Dear Dear is nice enough 2 help me tk pics of each dish while i ate... Hee...

Watched de chinese action movie long hu men at PS aft tat... We had a quarrel b4 tat n i haf been vri displeased... Went 2 buy sum Sins chocolate 2 eat as to lessen my own moodiness... Haha, chocolates, ice cream always cheers me up... Sounds lye a little kid huh? =p Nvtheless, Dear Dear n i managed 2 sort things out b4 i went hm... Got hm n found de things tat my sis haf bought fer me during her recent trip 2 bangkok- a bag, clothes, bras, slippers... Hee... So happy... =)

*Dun ever break my hart again. It eats me up from inside.*

2006-07-30T18:10:00.000+08:00

A rose by any other name will smell as sweet... Yet de sender of tis rose is even sweeter... <3

Rest.

2006-07-30T17:53:00.000+08:00

It's a lazy sun fer me 2dae... Wana tidy my hse but end up falling asleep b4 even doing anything... I luv 2 chill at home! Haa... Dear Dear bought me 2 Momo on laz fri night... Danced danced danced 2 de music! Hehe, i simply luv dancing, or shuld i say i luv dancing wif de one i luv most... <3 Dear Dear sent me sum pics online 2dae n dere's tis rose made of tissue tat he has folded fer me, sprinkled wif luminious purple colouring... I always find it amazing tat he wud tink of special hand made gifts fer me... I usually dun say much wen i receive de gifts yet actually my hart is warm n fuzzy inside, it's such an overwhelming feeling tat i m often lost fer words... =)

*Hw much impt is ur impt? Hw much do i cost? Do u reali mean wat u meant?*

2006-07-28T13:58:00.000+08:00

His... <3

2006-07-28T13:57:00.000+08:00

Hers... <3

qing nan wang...

2006-07-28T13:40:00.000+08:00

Mon- 24/7/06
Cudn't rem wat i did... Dear do u rem?

Tue- 25/7/06
Sentosa sun tanning- island life luv it!
~burnt pufferfish~
Carl's Jr- wat a big appetite we haf!

Wed- 26/7/06
Pastamania- creamy chicken & marinara! Yummy!
Dear Dear bought me a pair of lovely earrings from 77th Street! So swit!!!! <3
Lady in the water fer us...

Thurs- 27/7/06
Strawberries strawberries squeeze squeeze squeeze!!! I LUV STRAWBERRIES NOW!!

*Qing Nan Wang*

2006-07-21T14:47:00.000+08:00

Our memories... <3

2006-07-21T14:29:00.000+08:00

Smile, my dearest Dear! It's ur big dae! Haha, he looks so smart here i think... <3

2006-07-21T14:25:00.000+08:00

Wooo, it's moi n him!!! Juz hw proud wen i c him in his commando uni... <3 Oh, look at my piggy arms, haha... XD

2006-07-21T14:20:00.000+08:00

Boyfriend & Girlfriend again... I reali think Dear Dear got de perfect height fer me... Hehe... <3

2006-07-21T14:18:00.000+08:00

Took de following pics outside de camp's toilet while waiting fer Dear Dear's Mommy... <3

2006-07-21T14:16:00.000+08:00

Wahaha, our faces look so big here! I hate my eyes, so obviously inbalanced... =/

2006-07-21T14:14:00.000+08:00

Oh i haf been kissed! *blush blush* Muackz fer u too, Dear! <3

Best friend meeting...

2006-07-21T14:07:00.000+08:00

Managed to mit up wif 1 of my another best friends, Serene, yesterdae... Tis 1 is de 1 from primary sch... My long tym bestie whom i haf known since P5... Looking back, i haf known her fer 8 yrs... Tym reali flies lye a rocket i guess... Had sakae sushi wif her as we tok abt our everydae lives... Juz so much haf been changed, we both realised... Yet, we smiled at each other fer we r stil vri much comfortable in each other's presence... Tat's de kind of feeling i always luv wen i m being wif her... It's a sense of closeness, tat u r nt afraid of letting ur hair down, telling ur darkest secrets out, sharing ur problems n giving out ur vri true opinions of things... She juz noes me inside out... =) Hmm, watever happens, i always wish de best fer her...

Dear Dear emailed me de pics we took at his ORD parade n so i posted sum of them up... Hehe, he seems reali happy n excited tat he can get back his pink ic... I feel happy fer him too, fer new chapters of our lives will begin...

*It's juz tat kind of choice i haf, no words cud be said abt it...*
*crimson bed*

2006-07-20T00:36:00.000+08:00

My "pizza" of de dae... Made n delivered specially juz fer me by my Dearest... Yummy! Haha... It's actually a clock filled wif saga seeds... Full of "love, care n concern", my Dear Dear juz said... <3

2006-07-19T23:29:00.000+08:00

They say a picture says a thousand words... Yet tis 1 onli said 3... But it's all abt these 3 little words tat make my hart light up a million n thousand times... These r de lightsticks from my Dearest... I truly, deeply, madly appreciate de efforts put in 2 tink of tis... =D

My pizza!

2006-07-19T22:50:00.000+08:00

Had a hart-2-hart talk wif Dave 2dae... He claims 2b disappointed in me... I dun reali care i guess... De more i tok 2 him, de more tired i get... I dunno y... It seems strange tat i juz dun wish 2 tok 2 him nw... (Yeah, xinfu, c wat i mean nw? =p) Anw, it's Dear Dear 2 de rescue tis tym, fer he came 2 my hse again without telling me... 2 reali gif me a surprise i think... N hw bloody surprised i was... See pics above... Heehee... <3

2006-07-19T16:16:00.000+08:00

Kissing A Fool

You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that you were strong enough,
To even make a start,
But you'll never find
Peace of mind,
Til you listen to your heart,
People,
You can never change the way they feel,
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will,
If you let them,
Steal your heart from you,
People,
Will always make a lover feel a fool,
But you knew I loved you,
We could have shown them all,
We should have seen love through,
Fooled me with the tears in your eyes,
Covered me with kisses and lies,
So goodbye,
But please don't take my heart,
You are far,
I'm never gonna be your star,
I'll pick up the pieces
And mend my heart,
Maybe I'll be strong enough,
I don't know where to start,
But I'll never find
Peace of mind,
While I listen to my heart,
People,
You can never change the way they feel,
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will,
If you let them,
Steal your heart,
And people,
Will always make a lover feel a fook,
But you knew I loved you,
We could have shown them all,
But remember this,
Every other kiss,
That you ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man,
One you really can surrender with,
I will wait for you,
Like I always do,
There's something there,
That can't compete with any other,
You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that I was wrong enough,
To think you'd love me too.
I guess you were kissing a fool,
You must have been kissing a fool.

2006-07-17T16:31:00.000+08:00

Saga seeds from my special 1... Lovely... <3

My Happening Daes...

2006-07-17T16:16:00.000+08:00

Wed, 12/7
Met up wif Xinfu at Tamp Mall fer lunch... It's seems so long since i last saw him... Had Pastamania's buddy meal wif him... Yummy!!!! Hehe... Thx fer being dere wif me wen i nid u... =)

Managed 2 mit Dear Dear at nite, i was happy 2 c him, n hw touched i was wen he gave me a bottle of saga seeds tat he had picked up from Fort Canning Park!!!! Finally dere's sum1 special hu give me tis!!! Dear Dear even slipped n fell while trying 2 pick as many seeds as possible... Dere's juz tis warmth in my hart as i received tis priceless gift from him... I felt so overwhelmed by love i can hardly breathe... I was in fact on de brink of tears...

Thurs, 13/7
Got a private invitation to de opening launch of Qbar all thxs 2 Dave... Saw sum celebs, ppl from MTV, de clubbing industry... Saw Yvonne Lim n Adam Chen, they r Dave's frends... Yvonne used 2 wana court Dave... Haa, sumtyms i reali wonder whether Dave's words r credible... But tat's nt impt 2 me nw... I was supposed 2 eat dinner wif Dear Dear so i told Dave 2 let me eat sum finger food while he haf his main course... We didn't stay at Qbar fer too long... Oh ya, i almost forgot 2 say i saw Huiyi's bf , Bryan, at Qbar... He's 1 of de bartenders dere, he rem me too... Haha... It's juz such a small world...

N so we headed down 2 Indochine- Forbidden City 2 haf our dinner... My finger food turned out 2b a plate of duck salad wif mango n another plate of fried noodles... Yummy yummy... Dave's drop dead gorgeous cousin came 2 join us fer dinner in which he bought us sum sake... Man, he's captivating, but nt my type though, fer he's simply too cute!!!! Arrgh!!! He's 1 of de 50 most gorgeous ppl in sum mag laz year n he aso dated Sun Yan Zi briefly fer a few mths... He's a scholar too, in NTU... Damn it, God is juz so unfair sumtyms... Ladies, we shall all juz weep 2gether fer he's attached oreadi... Haha, i m attached too, men, u all can jolly well weep as well...

We all headed 2 MOS 2gether aft our dinner... Dere's tis another free invitation fer Dave n so dere i went... I stayed in MOS briefly b4 Dear Dear came 2 fetch me hm... I stil felt sober but i can tell Dear Dear was vri displeased wif me n Dave... I think he was angry fer i reeked of alcohol n aso wif my constant smoking de whole nite, i must smelled reali bad... I haf been wrong as nt 2 inform Dear Dear tat i wud go MOS tat nite... N i guess he's bloody angry actually... I hated myself fer getting into such kind of mess... But i suppose life will nv be de same once again fer nw... Nvtheless, Dear Dear showed me de back of his car booth, all de lightsticks he haf used 2 arrange into a "I <3 U"... I felt juz so swit inside...

Fri, 14/7
As usual i got sick aft consuming alcohol, i noe my rashes cud be fatal, yet i didn't care... Went 2 de doc, i definitely haf 2b well on fri, fer it was Dear Dear's ORD dae!!!!! =D X100000 X infinity... Haha, yeah, i went 2 his camp at Changi wif his parents 2 attend his ORD parade... Yippeee! My Dear Dear looked so handsum in his commando uniform... Took sum pics, will try 2 get them from Dear Dear nxt tym... Went fer dinner wif his parents at Changi Village aft tat... Hmm, sounds lye 1 family dae 2 me... Haa...

Sat, 15/7
Managed 2 catch Pirates of the Carribbean- Secrets of the Dead Men's Chest at Marina Square...Superb show man! Haha! Bought my top at Fox Women too, hee, Xinfu, i bought de orange 1 instead of de white 1... =) Dear dear n me were silly enough 2 go to those toy turner machines, u noe those which will churn out toys wen u put sum coins into de machine n twist de handle... Hee, we nw haf 3 little toys n i plan 2 get more... *grins til my eyes becum 1 str. line* =)))))) We stayed til 5am+ at esplanade as i cum clean abt me n Dave... Told him abt de past n he listened intently... Went 2 West Coast Mac fer breakfast n memories of our past flooded back... 2 me, our love has cum a long way... I love de feeling of nostalgia... I m confident tat dere will be more memories 2gether, gd ones they will be... =D

Sun, 16/7
Chillout dae at my hse as we had dinner wif my mommy... The Mummy Returns has been a great show... Rest n relax... A new week has arrived...

*Men, wat do u all reali wan frm women? i truly noe it's nt always love tat u all wan.*
*I tried hard 2 withstand de pain as i crush de scorpion in my hand, de pain pierced thru my hart, i dun mind tat fer stil, i managed 2 kill it in de end...*

It's gd 2b loved...

2006-07-10T13:30:00.000+08:00

Sat:
Yipee Yipee! It's yet another memorable dae fer me n Dear Dear as we headed down 2 Qian Hu Fish Farm 2 get my beloved puffer fishes!!!! As sum ppl noe, my nick in JC is pufferfish n so rearing them mks significance 2 me... N they r so cute 2 look at!!!! I got 4 of them, all in green colour... Oh i juz can't wait fer them 2 puff up!!! It's reali a million of thxs 2 Dear Dear as he was de 1 hu helped me set up de whole fish tank... Hehe... I feel so xin fu... Dear Dear even cut his hand while he was washing de sand... *cut in his hand, pain in my hart*

Sun:
Romancing day- Love is in de air... <3

2006-07-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

De weekend has finally arrived n here i m sittin in Dear Dear's room, using his laptop 2 type out an entry while he's asleep or either he's pretending 2b asleep behind me... I managed 2 cut my own hair 2dae again, haa, i haf always almost done tat i guess... Sumthing vri scary happened laz laz nite in which i haf actually fell asleep while toking 2 Dear Dear on de fone in my room... Dear Dear tot i was stil wif him on de fone as he heard sum1 filing nails... But i m oreadi asleep!!! =/ N wen he asked whether i m filing my nails, 'de thing' stopped filing n Dear Dear heard sumthing begin put on de table... *creeps* N so Dear Dear held onto de fone fer 1 n a half hrs thinking i was playing a trick on him... N de sound of filing lasted fer 1 n a half hrs... Oh man, hu on earth haf nails tat haf 2b filed fer 1 n a half hrs? *chills down my spine*

N so 2dae is de dae i made a big big decision tat will change my entire life forever... Yet i feel ok, yeah juz ok, fer i believe things will nt be as smooth as i haf tot... I m listening 2 tis old Dreamz FM song n it kind of brought back many memories of a certain person whom i knew in sec sch... We were juz so gd frends, but tis frendship haf 2b shattered becoz of sum unexpected event... Sumthing i didn't expect 2 happen even in my wildest dream... I feel lye crying fer tis person, as i wana cherish de frendship we had, but nvtheless, i guess fate haf it's own views on hw our lives shuld be handled... We simply can't bring back de past, can we?

*Wen all u feel is emptiness, i stil noe i haf U 2 lean onto... Aren't we 100% sure of tat? I dun wana lie abt hw i feel.*

2006-07-02T13:19:00.000+08:00

I got tis magazine!!!!! It cums wif a free bag too!!! So happi!!!! Haha, i luv Ayumi! =D

2006-07-02T13:15:00.000+08:00

I almost 4got 2 say i did Zihan's manicure recently... Aren't they nice? Hehe... i m too lazy 2 do it for my nails nw but i certainly luv 2 do it fer my frends!!! $5 per nail! Haha, look, i m juz joking here... =D

2006-07-02T13:09:00.000+08:00

Dear dear n my pizzia dining at Kovan on thurs... *licks lips*

2006-07-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

Yeah de following r foodie pics from tis restaurant called 'Secret Garden' located sumwhr arnd Middle Road tat David bought me to... Here's my Casear salad... Hmm, i m oreadi trying my best 2 slim down wif tis!

2006-07-02T13:03:00.000+08:00

I LUV CHEESECAKES!!! Here's my blueberry one... Yummy yummy! =D

2006-07-02T13:02:00.001+08:00

David's. Eeks, taste weird i told him... De wedges r fine though...

2006-07-02T13:02:00.000+08:00

My iced mocha! it's a little too sweet though...

2006-07-02T12:59:00.000+08:00

My untouched bread & butter... I was simply too full 2 eat them...

Many updates...

2006-07-02T12:31:00.000+08:00

I took a deep breathe as i sat down 2 write tis entry... Dere r so many things 2 update abt!!!! My exhibition is finally over!!!! Yeah!!!! Haha... My job has reali caused me exhaustion... Yet dere r of course pros n cons to it... BroadcastAsia 2006 reali opened my eyes 2 many things, n got me exposed 2 many ppl across de globe... Dere were ppl hu treated me lye a princess, lye Irvin, the 'security guard' from de show hu showered me wif concern wen no1 cud... I m reali thankful fer de things he do n de things he said...

Dere was aso my korean exhibitor, Jae, hu got interested in me(god noes y) aft juz a few chats wif me... Haa, i got 'interested' in him too, aft i knew he lives near de korean actor 'Pei Yong Jun' in Seoul... I reali find it exciting 2 meet wif overseas ppl, u nv noe wat u will get... De moz amazing thing is tat i met David again... He's sum1 hu is special to me, yet i dun reali noe hw 2 explain tis feeling... He claims tat he's interested in me, but i guess tat's all so superficial... I juz hate it wen i realised ppl like me fer my looks, in fact i feel lye hitting them in their face... Nvtheless, i went out wif him laz sun n he brought me 2 tis little cosy restaurant near the art museum or sumthing... (See pics of de food we ate...) We went shopping aft tat n he bought me chocolates for Godiva!!!! Yummy!!!! They cost arnd $4 per piece worx... Haha... Hmm, i guess David is a nice person, but sumhw i juz can't help but feel tat watever he does has a motive... I mean he can be vri nice but i can't sense his sincerity...

Brought Dear Dear 2 my fav supermarket at Liang Court on fri aft my thank you lunch wif my nw ex colleagues at Great World City... Yeah i officially left SES... I miss my small desk tucked at de small cosy corner... Anw, it's our 1st tym me n Dear went fer grocery shopping together, i was so excitied!!!! Hee! Bought lots of things worx... I aso bought my Ayumi magazine which cums wif a free bag... Managed 2 eat a Jap "bian dang" n sum tasty sausage wif bacon!! Went fer supper at de You Tiao place at Gelyang later on 2 munch on more foodies... Oh man, i can't imagine hw much amount of fats i had inserted into myself... Anw, Dear Dear n me finally carried out our plan of gg JB yesterdae... Yeppie! So happi so happi!!!! Tis is our 1st honeymoon outing n i m sure dere r stil many more... =) We drove 2 City Square whr i spent over RM400 worth of clothings... I nid sum retail therapy aft all my hard wrk at SES... Haha... Went 2 sum hawker centre by the roadside 2 eat... De food was yummy n cheap too! I bought back sum lobster fer Mummy too... Hehe... Nvtheless, we had sum funny, bad memories dere which i didn't wish 2 disclose here... Haha, it's almost all abt shit... No matter wat, i can't wait fer our second honeymoon trip... =D

*Deep inside me, my feelings hidden, i form a barrier in btw, i juz haf 2 kip gg, til de light sheds sum freedom, i haf tis feeling i nv felt b4... N i m amazed by tat feeling... I juz wana to say 10q fer coming into my life, 10q fer becoming my life...*

*Pls leave fer once. I nid no you.*

Busy busy...

2006-06-14T21:33:00.000+08:00

Midweek has arrived and i couldn't reali believe myself that i haf a chance 2 sit down in the comfort of my home at tis hr... I call tis a luxury now fer i haf been working real hard at de office fer de past 1 week... Doing ot til almost 11pm everydae, even staying til 11.40pm yesterdae nite... I broke my record of ot-ing lor... Haha... I nv believe hard work cud kill any1, i stil dun nw, but i realised it slowly mks de human mind break down, de physcial body pushing n pushing 2 its top most limit, hence making 1 suffer fatigue in an undescrible way, a way sumtyms i think is much worse than death... Yet i continued on my work, i simply refuse 2 gif up... I sumhw luv tat satisfaction work gifs me... My company exploits its workers but our dinners r considered pretty gd... Of the nites i stayed back, i had KCF take-away, pizza hut delivery n sake sushi!!!! I vri much look forward 2 seeing my exhibitors too... I wunder wat's their impression abt me...

Yup as i was saying abt my laz entry, Dear Dear suddenly came 2 my hse without telling me... He always tries 2 surprise me in many ways, n sumtyms i m reali surprised, otherwise shocked... He's in camp nw so i haf nt seen him fer 3 daes... Yet it seems tat i haf nt seen him fer yrs!!!! I MIZ MY DEAR DEAR!!!!! Haha, guess i m abit sot nwadaes... Hmm, i seemed 2 haf short termed memory too... Haiz, i tot abt sum1 else too... I wundered hw's life fer him... Every nw n den i'll tink abt him, tink abt de tyms i spent wif him... Izzit rite 2 tink of a another guy wen i oreadi haf my dearest? *deep in tot* I guess dere r certain things which haf no rites or wrongs...

*I choose 2 only rem de gd memories...*

I need sum sleep...

2006-06-11T15:54:00.000+08:00

Fatigue has reali caught me these daes... I feel terrible, more than terrible i guess, for dere r juz too many things to do now, with simply too little tym... As things unfold lye a drama btw me n Dear Dear, i wuldn't help but feel but feel a sense of despair... Stil, as far as things haf happened, we made up n continued 2 walk hand in hand...

Perhaps Dear Dear felt vri bad aft tat particular incident, hence he bought me de Tommy Hilfiger True Star perfume... Mind you, he bought me de 100ml one... I merely told him i lye it n haf de intention 2 buy it n proof! It's in my room, on my table nw! *smiles until u can't see my eyes*

We finally reali had a chance 2 go shopping yesterdae at orchard together... Yes, tis was de first tym he went massive shopping wif me... N i was juz so bloody excited!!!! We shopped at hereen, paragon n far east... GSS is all abt having fun while shopping i guess... Dere r juz too many sales 2 resist!!!!

Oh man, as i m blogging nw, Dear Dear juz appeared in front of my hse... Gtg, tok later... =X

2006-06-03T17:45:00.000+08:00

Managed 2 mit up wif Dear Dear laz nite fer dinner n movie... Work has been toiling on me as de hrs drag longer n longer... No choice fer my exhibition is coming... =/ Managed 2 watch de The Nun yesterdae n de plot is nt bad... Dere's an unexpected ending though although i cud guess it halfway thru de show... Had dinner at Swensens b4 tat n I REALI LUV SWENSENS NOW!!!! God noes wen did they had a revamp of their menu n dere r so many many mouth watering dishes 2 try nw!!! Oh piggy me juz wish i can eat at Swensens every dae... *Licks lips* See pics below...

2006-06-03T16:59:00.000+08:00

Dear Dear's breaded chicken... Seems like he nv change his tastes, always eating tis wen he cums 2 Swensens... So zhuang yi lor... Lolx...

2006-06-03T16:54:00.000+08:00

My Almond Lamb Chops!!!! Wow!!! Tis is reali nice!!!! It's new on de menu n i recommend it for those hu luv mutton lye i do!!! I simply <3 de almond bits on de lamb chops! delicious!

2006-06-03T16:53:00.000+08:00

My Mango Madness... Tis is sumthing new on de menu too...

2006-06-03T16:49:00.000+08:00

Dear Dear's choc ice cream... As usual i ate part of his share too... Haha... =p

2006-05-31T23:50:00.000+08:00

Moi in my Dear Dear's orange Giordanio's shirt... Heehee! I tink it's quite fitting... =p

2006-05-31T23:48:00.000+08:00

Girlfriend & Boyfriend. <3

Reunion at SAF Yacht Club...

2006-05-31T23:20:00.000+08:00

Had our 04A6b reunion at de SAF Yacht Club laz sat... Nt every1 turned up though... Nvdeless, i stil enjoyed de outing vri much... Peeps, thanx fer making de outing happen! The food is gd & cheap! Moi, serene n yeekheng paid fer xue ying & irene's share...

2006-05-31T23:18:00.000+08:00

Lights from the yacht across de sea... It's a pretty nice place here... Gd atmosphere wif gd oldies music... I like! =)

2006-05-31T23:17:00.000+08:00

Recommended Dish: Curry fishhead! Super yummy fer tis one!

2006-05-31T23:16:00.000+08:00

Our veggie! See, we r so health conscious?

2006-05-31T23:15:00.000+08:00

Claypot tofu!

2006-05-31T23:13:00.000+08:00

N tis is de reunion fer us! Too bad de rest were nt here... Nvdeless, we had so much 2 tok abt! =)

2006-05-31T23:12:00.000+08:00

Us standing...

2006-05-31T23:08:00.000+08:00

Moi n Serene, pointing 2wards de sea... Juz look at our high cheekbones... (fishball & meatball respectively) =X

2006-05-31T23:06:00.000+08:00

We went on tis yacht over at de playground 2 tk a pic... I luv u all in gd n tough tyms! Haha... =)

2006-05-31T23:01:00.000+08:00

Cheeze! Haha... Dearies, my Dear Dear commented tat de 3 of u look so cute aft u all left! I felt so too! I tink me n Dear Dear seemed so old in comparsion!=p

2006-05-31T22:58:00.000+08:00

Took tis pic becoz Serene was reali hungry tat dae n she cudn't stop eating... Her plate was in fact de 1st 2b filled wif food... =X

2006-05-31T22:54:00.000+08:00

Ooh... Can't reali rem y i did tis action... But anyway, aren't my manicured nails lovely? They r real nails k... N i did them myself... Haa...

2006-05-31T22:52:00.000+08:00

YeeKheng N Irene here looking as sweet as ever... =)

It's all because of you...

2006-05-27T15:21:00.000+08:00

Ok ladies n gentlemen, boys n gals, i m back om my bloggy... Yeah i am still alive n kicking... Haa... Only God noes wat i haf been doing lately... Well, sumtyms i juz lye 2 vanish into thin air, giving myself sum personal space 2 ponder over things, plan things, discover things... Work has been tiring, more of mentally i guess... But dere's definitely a flipside 2 every story... As i haf my own telephone line n email add in de office, my clients from all over de globe can contact me... N call me they did... it's fun having 2 tok 2 Amercians, French, Chinese from China n Italians etc... N de amazing thing is tat i get 2 meet them in real person during my exhibition in June!!! Cool, dun u think? I look forward 2 see my Japanese clients though... Hehe...

Apart from work, i m actually nt busy wif anything... Dear Dear has been in camp fer nearly 2 weeks, n he onli came back 2 daes ago... Dunno y, but i missed him extremely wen he's away tis tym round... My mom i lost weight even... Haha, perhaps she's juz trying 2 cheer my glum face up by saying so... I realised sumthing surprising too... I haf been taking bus to AMK mrt 2 change 2 train every morning... But it has nv occur 2 me tat tis sum1 wud be in de same bus wif me almost every dae... Strangely i juz happened 2 think of tis particular person i haf nt met fer yrs wen he suddenly appearred in front of me... He cudn't recognised me de 1st tym he saw me though, but i think he realised hu i was wen our eyes met on bus de nxt tym... Juz wat is Fate arranging fer me n him? I told myself: take it easy gal, u r nv gonna meet him again... I m nt gg 2 tk tat bus in de morning anymore...

Met up wif Dear Dear aft wrk yesterdae... Went PS 2 watch Over The Hedge... It was a damn funny show, we reali had a gd laugh... We played catching along orchard rd too, n de tunnel connecting wisma n taka... Yeah, we 2 adults played catching at such a crowded place... I can't reali rem hw we started though, but practically ran aft each other, n i was trying 2 pull his loose pants down in public while he tugged at my blouse... My feet hurt aft we stopped, fer i was wearing heels, chasing aft a commando guy whose 2.4km timing was 8min++ sec... We were simply breatheless aft our catching... But all was fun... Haha...

Hung out at Mount Faber aft our movie til around 4am... I luv 2 juz chill at de place... Wat came aft tat was sumthing reali vri unexpected on our journey hm... We were actually stopped by a road block outside de turn into hougang ave 8... No big deal though, fer i did no wrong n Dear Dear didn't consume alcohol laz nite... The unexpected thing was tat one of de policemen is my nanyang badminton senior, Anthony!!!! Wow, i haf nv dream tat i wud mit him again under such circumstances... He looked stern as he was on duty, so i didn't wana tok 2 him while he n another officer took my ic n Dear Dear's driving licence 2 record our particulars... My face broke into a cheerful smile wen he finally asked me: "hey, do u rem me?"

Me:"Of course i do!!!
I said as i laughed at his stern face while tugging at his police badge... All de rest of de policemen stared at us... At me in particular... My senior's officer glared at him... Wahaha, nw my senior noes my chinese name n he actually teased me abt it... Dear Dear was dead worried tat de police wud gif him a summon, but Anthony said they didn't... Phew... Honda civics r de cars moz often stopped by road blocks, fer tis model of cars cud be modified most, n Dear Dear had many parts modified... Still, all's fine fer de nite...

*To ****: You r all i ever nid, my valentine...*
*To ***: N even if i dream of u, de sweetest dream will nv do.*

Negative.

2006-05-03T22:15:00.000+08:00

Didn't go wrk yesterdae due to my terrible tummy ache... I had in fact oreadi took a bus to AMK mrt station but de pain was almost killing me, i simply had 2 go hm... Yet i was vri down on my luck, i had 2 draw $ to see a doc but de atm was temporarily out of cash... I "crawled" back hm 2 get sum cash onli 2 lock myself out of de hse wen i 4got 2 bring de keys out again... F***... I had 2 go 2 my mum's wrkplace 2 get de keys n "crawl" back hm again... Haiz... I din wana wake Dear Dear up n trouble him 2 cum fetch me... Aftall, he actually held more of a night life, playing his billiard onli at 1++ in de morning, gg home onli at 4+, 5am n sleeping onli at 6am... He is nice enough 2 cum visit me yesterdae even though he slept vri little...

However nice my Dear Dear cud be, i almost had a tiff wif him 2dae... For sum reasons tat i dun wana disclose here, i dun reali lye de idea of seeing him everydae... In fact i dun lye it at all... I find it suffocating... Yet i dun reali noe hw 2 put it across 2 him... I tried 2 tok 2 him 2dae, but we cudn't reali sort things out... I hate tis kind of situation reali... Sumtyms i hope tat he can juz spare me... Sumtyms i hope i can juz run away... N hw much i envy him too, tat he cud go clubbing at his friend's buthdae party at club Las Vegas 2dae... I tink i m juz such a bore 2 him... I wonder hw long can he last out giving in 2 me...

*Hope or pain, izzit reali up 2 me 2 decide?*

Class reunion...

2006-05-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

Went out wif Xinfu 2 town 2dae... I was reali troubling with wat 2 buy fer dear dear while Xinfu bought a birthdae prezzie fer his ex... In de end, i managed 2 buy a card at heeren n a top fer him at far east... I reali hope he lyes de black collared shirt i bought... I got 2 tops fer myself too, hehe... Saw Eunice, Tien Li n Yan Ting at far east aso... Met up wif Wei An, Qing Nan, Benny, Matt n their frend at amk fer dinner... De stingray we ate was pretty gd... Yummy!

*Miss you.*

2006-04-29T14:46:00.000+08:00

Our lobster dish at Mandarin Hotel Triple 3 restuarant... Yummy!!! *licks lips*

2006-04-29T14:41:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 12pm 2dae... A week has passed again n de long weekend has arrived!!!! Yeah!!!! Went Mandarin Hotel at Orchard Road 2 have buffet dinner at Triple 3 on wed... De food is heavenly!!!! They haf sushi of all sorts, roasted meat lye mutton, ham, sausages, chicken... Me, evelyn, leonard n dear dear got 4 tix 2 eat all these delicious food as me n evelyn won de lucky draw at Andrew Corporation's D & D 2 mths back... We had lobster too, n i onli managed 2 tk a pic of it n nt de rest of de food fer i was too busy eating... Wahaha...

Went shopping yesterdae n bought sum clothes n shoes... Pay day is here n it is high tym i return $ 2 my stepbro fer de moblie phone fees i haf incurred... Boohoohoo, $ is nv enough 2 me... N dere r stil 101 things i wana buy!!!!! Brought dear dear to my fav coffeeshop at Purvis Street to treat him dinner yesterdae... Come to think of, i must start 2 think of wat 2 buy Dear Dear fer de nxt mth's anni... Shuld i buy wat he lyes or shuld i buy something practical? Anyway, i stil haf anrd 3, 4 daes to think over...

*To be loved is pure bliss, to love is pure happiness...*

2006-04-23T13:51:00.000+08:00

I haf always luv oldies... N nw my current fav one is tis...

Selena- I could fall in love

I could lose my heart tonight
If you don't turn and walk away
'Cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay
'Cause I could take you in my arms
And never let go
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
I could only wonder how
Touching you would make me feel
But if I take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still?
So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
And I know it's not right
And I guess I should try to do what I should do
But I could fall in love
Fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
Siempre estoy soñada en ti
Besandos mis labios, acariciando mi piel
Abrazadome con ansias locas
Imaginando que me amos
Cómo yo podia amar a ti
So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love
I could fall in love
With you...

2006-04-23T13:23:00.000+08:00

Our b4-movie snack... Chocolate truffle... *licks lips*

2006-04-23T13:21:00.000+08:00

Dear Dear's chicken n steak!!! Yummy, i ate sum of his share too... Haha...=P

2006-04-23T13:19:00.000+08:00

My Pepper Lunch!!! Yeah, i cook those hamburger steaks myself!!! Hehe... Wat an accomplishment...*Sizzle sizzle*

Meet the parents...

2006-04-23T13:12:00.000+08:00

Sun is a chillout dae... Reali dread fer 2ml to cum... Went out wif Dear Dear to town yesterdae... Had Pepper Lunch fer de 1st time n it was yummy yummy!!!! I haf always luv gd food!!! Hehe!!! FYI: Pepper Lunch is a eatery located opp Yoshi at taka... U noe de eatery whr they haf de TV showing ppl how 2 cook de meat on de hotplate? It's originated from Japan actually... Caught de movie "Black Night"... There are 3 stories in de movie n de scariest is de 1st... So overall de whole movie wasn't tat gd... Wanted 2 catch "hostel" actually, but it's R21!!!! N wen we were abt 2 buy de tix, de cinema attendent wanted 2 check my ic... =( Nvm, i told Dear Dear we cud juz get de DVD...

Next was de highlight of de dae whrby i went 2 Dear Dear's hse 2 see his parents... I was reali nervous n Dear Dear was trying 2 calm me down de whole time... His parents turned out 2b rather friendly and even his aunt was at his house cooking dinner for us... His young cousins were cute too... Haha, wif my turn done, his turn will haf 2 cum soon...

*Another dae in paradise... ... ???*

2006-04-17T21:51:00.000+08:00

The apology bear... Hehe, so cute!!! =)

Another dae in paradise...

2006-04-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

Came hm from work rather early 2dae... Was feeling real tired 2dae... Dear Dear haf gone back to camp again... Yeah we haf patched up on fri night oreadi... Things reali took an unexpected turn tat dae... Dear Dear haf waited fer me since 10pm+ to 12am+ while i went out to haf dinner... I din expect him to be at my hse downstairs... I haf refused to reply his msgs, switched my fone off n he actually gaf me lye over 15 missed calls... I felt tat he's juz so crazy, i was vri afraid tat if i ever went downstairs to mit him, he wud struggle me in his car...

Yet my hart softened wen he managed to call me... I eventually went down 2 mit him n we thrashed things out... N to my surprise, he bought me a prezzie n a card 2 apologise for watever he haf said n done... I was juz speechless... He said he wasn't angry at me, i wasn't vri convinced actually... Nevertheless, everything shuld be settled for now...

*Never enough.*

A twist of fate...

2006-04-14T14:23:00.000+08:00

Rainy daes always make me feel nostalgic... Finally i managed to sit down, cool down, n type out an entry... Things oreadi had a twist of fate nw, for on sundae, i got angry n expressed it over my face... I can't stand it anymore, y does my dear dear have 2 always mit his friends? N in de end, i haf 2 mit them too? Yeah, i noe a couple of u all haf oreadi heard my story, but i m stil gg 2 write it out...

I was intially vri happy tat Sundae was gg 2 belong 2 juz de both of us as Leonard said sundae is his family dae, n tat he wun cum out... I haf asked Dear Dear out for dinner n he said yes... N so happily i hopped into his car n halfway to our destination, he said he haf 2 go kallang 2 mit a friend...

Him:" We r gg Kallang 2 find a friend 1st."
Me: "Oh hu is ur friend? Is he coming for dinner wif us?"
Him: "Oh actually u aso noe tis friend..."
Me (i started frowning): "Hu? Leonard?"
Him: "Yah."

I wud stil suppress my unhappiness as i tot Leonard wud be at Kallang waiting fer us n he wud juz hop into de car n go fer dinner... Instead i haf 2 wait half an hr for Leonard n Kenneth to fin playing billiard b4 we cud go fer dinner... I was feeling angry, hungry n frustration eventually set in... I din say a word but my whole face was black... I can't stand de way Dear Dear do things... Y can't he juz cum straight 2 de pt tat Leonard is joining us fer dinner n tat they r stil playing billiard, so perhaps i wud grab sum food at hm 1st? Y de bloody hell muz we always go out wif them? Can't they nt luv him so much? N does Dear Dear think tat gg out wif me alone is so boring tat his friends haf 2 join us fer almost every outing? I juz cudn't understand y Dear Dear thinks tat it's enjoyable tat we all go out 2gether... He lyes gg out wif his friends so often doesn't mean i lye gg out wif his friends so often... Or shuld i say does he luv his friends more than he luvs me? WTF...

N so he cum 2 fetch me 2 wrk on mon n tue... I was happi but stil a little intrigued at de lifestyles of his friends... Leonard, hu's married wif a kid, stil goes out late into de night so vri often, leaving his wife at hm... I looked at Dear Dear n realised tat he might do tis 2 me too, if unfortunately i ever marry him... I wana build a perfect family, i nid de father of my child 2b dere fer my child n me at least, nt always out wif his buddies... I shook my head, i can foresee an unhappy ending ahead...

N so i told Dear Dear tat i m nt gg 2 mit him tis fri, sat n sun... I told him i nid a break, nid 2 chill out with my frends fer a while, n tat he nids a break away from me n 2 chill wif his frends too... he started to attitude me n turned hostile, asking me nt 2 beat abt de bush wen i tok n juz cum straight 2 de pt... I flared up wen i heard he say tis as it reminded me too much abt hw he tok 2 me on sundae... N so i said...

Me:"U wana me 2 cum straight 2 de pt rite? Ok, den i juz tell u, maybe rite til de end, we r nt compatible after all..."
He:* Silence*

Haf i reali been too bloody harsh? But all i ever wanted was 2 get away n mit wif my frends fer a while, i m nt saying i wana get away from him forever... I felt vri unfair in a sense tat y can't i mit my friends fer a few daes while we r miting urs lye every other dae? My friends r human too, rite? It den crossed my mind tat we haf 2 mit on sat fer our scheduled hotel buffet dinner on sat, n so i told him we can mit on sat, but leave fri n sun 2 ourselves... He got pissed n sms me saying if i dun wana mit him during de long weekend, we dun haf 2 mit on sat as well... WTF... Look at de sucky attitude my bf is giving me while promising 2 treat me beta wen he came back from Thailand... True, he did buy me gifts, treated me 2 dinners, but sumtyms wat i wan is fer him 2 understand me more n gif me more space... I m nt de submissive kind of gf whrby i wud juz follow whr he go... I haf my own views on things too... Wat's juz his problem?

I took de intiative 2 sms him yesterdae, showing him so concern, yet he stil gifs me tat kind of sucky attitude, replying in only 1 or 2 words... I can't believe my bf can be so sucky, so child-like tempered... Rite til de laz msg, i was telling him maybe we cud sit down 1 dae n discuss abt things, he din even bother 2 reply me... WTF... We r currently having a cold war n things dun reali lye gd... Perhaps we shuld juz stop everything here?

*Dun mk me feel so a sense of despair, it's nt healthy...*

2006-04-08T15:24:00.000+08:00

They r lovely, aren't they? =)

Finally...

2006-04-08T15:16:00.000+08:00

Finally i managed to find sum tym 2 type an entry... I haf been reali shagged tis week... Mentally exhausted yet emotionally fulfilled... Wrk haf been hectic at Singapore Exhibition Services... I even haf 2 tk my exhibition floor plan hm 2 mark out all de information... Anw, below is a brief update of wat happened thru out tis wk...

Sun: 2.30am
- finally i hopped onto Dear Dear's car wif Leonard n Elvin to head to de airport...

4am
- after an hr's wait, Dear Dear finally appeared!!!!! Yeah!!! I hid over at a corner b4 jumping out 2 surprise him... Unfortunately he din seemed surprised though... He said he knew i wud come 2 fetch him... How confident is he, huh? *sticks out tongue nastily*

7am
- managed 2 reach home at 4.30am, pulled myself up by 7... I was weary eyed fer de 1st dae of wrk, but delighted tat Dear Dear haf cum fetch me 2 my newton office... Hehe...

Tue
8am
- Dear Dear din answer my sms or my msg... He cudn't wake up 2 send me 2 wrk... *boiling mad* I was late in de end so i din wana tok 2 him.... He apologised though...

6.30pm
- Went out wif Leonard n Kenneth n Dear Dear to CAN's Cafe 2 chill out... We haf 2 change a place in de end fer they realised i got too bored... Headed to tis cafe call Settlers in which dere r boardgames 2 play n wat fun we had... We were playing tis game call de Hotelier n me, Leonard n Dear Dear ganged up 2 bully Kenneth... Wahaha...

Wed(our special dae)
I got de date wrong n tot our anniversary was de 6th instead of de 5th... N so i din buy anything fer Dear Dear while he bought a bouquet of my fav yellow roses fer me... (See pic above)

7pm
- Went fer dinner at swensens b4 heading down 2 Mount Faber, it has becum 1 of our fav hangout dere... Hee...

Thurs
7pm
- I took de mrt hm fer i tot Dear Dear wud stil be in camp n cudn't fetch me from office... In de end, Dear Dear managed 2 fetch me at de AMK mrt station... Haha... Guilt struck me fer nt buying any anniversary prezzie on tym so i sacrificed my lunch hr, dropped by at SINS 2 get him a box of chocolates...4got 2 tk a pic of it though... Haiz...

7.30pm
- Went Din Tai Feng fer dinner at J8... De food was yummy as usual!!! Shopped abit n Dear Dear bought me a nice purple cushion 2 bring 2 wrk... Thanx Dear Dear!!! I haf been having tis spine prob n sitting at my seat fer long hrs without gd support at my back is killing me... So glad 2 haf de beany cushion accompanying me...

9.30pm
- Chilled out at Punngol end fer abit b4 gg hm early... Dear Dear haf 2 bk in 2 do sumthing so i managed 2 go hm early fer once... Hehe...

Fri
7pm
- Long John Silvers wif Dear Dear n Kenneth... Went East Coast Cabana 2 chill aft dinner... Leonard n Desmond joined us aft 10pm n Dear Dear n me decided 2 go fer a stroll... I was oreadi feeling ill fer de tiring week haf taken a toil on me, i haf gotten feverish... Dear Dear said i was so PT lor...

1am
-home swit home at last! Xinfu, u reali called at de wrong time... Haha, nvm... Took a quick bath n went 2 slp... I m so glad i dun haf 2 wrk 2dae... Well it's a pity tat i can onli mit Dear Dear aft my dinner wif my sec sch frends... Nevertheless, i m elated tat we r still gg 2 haf many 2mls together...

*Addicted.*

Relief...

2006-04-01T00:19:00.000+08:00

A sense of relief washed over me as i found out Dear Dear's blood test sample proves tat dere's nothing wrong wif him... De docs said he haf onli exerted himself too much n juz needed lots of rest... See wat a commando camp trg can do to 2 man... I was initally vri worried fer him wen he told me he's got fever, felt numbness over his body n was vri tired... To Xinfu: it's tat "lemony" feeling again wen i heard him say he's nt feeling well... I was in fact scared out of my wits... Thinking back, i guess i was juz too paranoid abt things, i muz haf always been, fer my brain juz simply thinks too much... So even wen sumtyms i tried to laugh n relax, it's those nervous kind of laughter tat i onli managed...

N so Dear Dear is coming back in abt 2 daes!!! I feel lye doing de "Tom Cruise couch-jumping excitement thingy" but guess all's stil quite early... Hmmm, i juz hope everything will go smoothly once i start wrk on mon... Wun nt wana quarrel wif Dear Dear becoz of my wrk schedule... I noe i can be quite a workacholic sumtyms... Reali look forward 2 fetching him at de airport on mon nite even though it's 2am in de morning...

Went 2 visit Daddy 2dae... De heavy downpour in de afternoon reali made de visit look more gloomy n sad... Daddy haf left fer abt 15 yrs oreadi... Hw sad huh? De memories of him r reali vague... Sumtyms i seriously think i nid a man in my life... N i do mean a man, nt a boy, nt a guy... A real, tough man... Perhaps i m too deprived of a father's love tat's y i tend to go fer older men? Luckily Dear Dear is a few yrs older den me... To me, he's considered a man... But of course, sumtyms being a little boy at hart, stil needs sum coaxing... Hehe...

*I hope my misery is abt to end... Grinz!=)*

Tym goes by so slowly...

2006-03-27T12:59:00.000+08:00

Went out wif Meanie on sat for pool n supper... I oreadi wasn't feeling gd n Dear Dear's sms made me feel worse... He told me someone was shot in de face during their outfield trg... I got anxious n called over to thailand... I was juz so afraid tat their flight back on 3rd april wud be delayed fer further investigations haf 2b carried out abt the accident... Talked on the fone til Meanie n i decided to head to Jalan Kayu fer some prata... Meanie n i were discussing abt the person hu got shot in de face on our way dere...

Meanie:"Shot in de face? Doesn't it mean shot in de head?"
Me:"Man... Yah! I hope it's nt bloody serious!"

Such military injuries r reali scary n haf de capability 2 drain all de blood from my face... Luckily the guy isn't from Dear Dear's company... Nevertheless, i got worried for Dear Dear's safety... For he haf actually told me tat dere's no 100% guarantee they wud com back all well n alive, for accidents might happen if 1 is nt cautious enough...Haiz, i didn't slp well tat night...

Had a dream laz night... It wasn't a nightmare actually, but it was a disturbing 1... Sumhow in de dream i got married, to sum1 hu is much older than me... I dun mean a 70-yr-old man but sum1 who is nt as young as Dear Dear... The dream seems real n i was certain tat tis man isn't Dear Dear... Oh man, tis man isn't him! I wonder hu broke whose heart den... It's so tragic fer de two of us, Dear Dear didn't once appear in the dream though... I woke up breathing hard... I shook my head profusely... Wat will fate do to us? Is tis an omen?

*R dreams reali de opposite of reality? Pls do come back to me quick.*

SIM...

2006-03-24T13:11:00.000+08:00

Went 2 my future sch, SIM, yesterdae wif Meanie... I was glad tat he is willing 2 acc me 2 register fer my course... Haha, i reali lye hanging out wif him... Met him at PS n his frend was nice enough 2 drive us down 2 SIM... Hehe... He had accidentally found out abt my chinese name n was laughing his head off... So meanie of him... *sticks out tongue nastily*

Dear Dear n i sms each other yesterdae n i can tell tat de atmosphere laz nite was tense... I was telling Dear Dear i haf enrolled into SIM 2 study business management... Dear Dear din wana study anymore fer he thinks he will b beta if he cums out 2 wrk as he has his car n other stuff 2 support... I din lye his idea of juz giving up his studies as he shuld haf gotten a degree at any local uni wif his excellent poly results... He started 2bcum vri stress wen we proach into de subject... Wif all his bloody trg n his old injuries acting up, i can't blame him if he loses his temper at me... I m nt saying he did though... Haiz, i juz hope everything will turn out fine...

*I think i m such a puppet nw. Fer my every smile n every frown depends on u. Pls dun be sad.*

2006-03-22T13:55:00.000+08:00

Moi and His Horoscope compatibilty:

Pisces & Scorpio
Sensitive and instinctive, Scorpio and Pisces have a mutual affinity only rarely encountered in the zodiac. They may be devoted to one another body and soul; their love is erotic, all-encompassing, and often unique. A gaze speaks volumes of poetry, and intuition replaces reason. Their magical bond is immune to everything except Scorpio's jealousy. If it looms, Pisces will dart away on the first wave. He or she loathes ugly emotional confrontations, and this feeling is stronger than his or her passionate love for the Scorpio.

Which i think it's quite true... Haha... =X

2006-03-21T22:09:00.000+08:00

Went to see my future boss at Singapore Exhibition Services Pte Ltd... Yeah tis is gg 2b my future company in April... I managed 2 get a admin job dere... I luv de surroundings!!! It's rite beside e newton mrt... Called GoldBell Towers... The place is surrounded by condos... Lovely view... Bad thing abt tis job is tat i haf 2 start wrk on de 3rd april, in which Dear Dear is coming back on tat dae... Poor Dear Dear, i wud nt haf de tym to acc him! Haiz, hope he understands...

Met up wif Xinfu fer dinner aft tat at bugis... Hehe, it reali feels gd 2 haf all de tym in de world 2 shop arnd... N shop arnd i reali did... Bought 2 bags, 1 top n 1 bottom... So happi... So happi... But i was happiest wen Dear Dear managed 2 sms me even though he's vri busy n vri tired from his outfield...*grinz* Yeah!

*Nothing beats it wen u sms me. It breathes life into me.*

Burnt...

2006-03-19T23:04:00.000+08:00

Sunday. Sentosa. Sun tanning. Is tat reali Joanna? Hehehe... Yeah!!! Tat's me nw!!! Haha, got quite burnt up 2dae despite de nt so strong sun... Honestly i went fer 2dae's sun tanning trip coz i wana mit my sec sch badminton frends- Mei Zhen, Serene and Farzanah... N it's aso becoz i wana gif Dear Dear a surprise, i mean he thinks i m rather fair u see, so i wana tan up 2 "kip up" wif his ever tanned complexion... Did i blog it out, tat his commando training in Thailand is vri tough... De weather is oreadi a killer, 42 degrees daily...(i think 1 can actually fry an egg in de open field) So Dear Dear bathes like 4 tyms a dae... Their trg consists of climbing up slopes n hills while carrying 30kg of load in such a bloody weather... It's bascially lye hell 2 me...

N so sum guys tried 2 get us 2 play beach volleyball wif them 2dae... (-_-") Haha, well me n Mei Zhen finally obliged in de end... Ser n Far insisted nt playing... N guess wat? I got reali interested in de game wen 1 of de players look lye Ian!!!! Yeah, Ian(A2), tat tennis guy i used 2 lye during my jc daes... He is de fairer version of Ian n to Andrew if u managed to read tis, he wears a diamond stud on his ear too!!!! Haha, i haf 2 admit his looks attracted me... Even Mei Zhen thinks he's cute... Rite til de end, 1 of de guys went over n asked us fer our contacts but i juz turned hostile... Hah, i guess i juz dun haf de mood, energy, money to entertain such ppl nw... *sticks out tongue nastily*

I guess thru out tis whole time, i juz miss Dear Dear... Haiz, 14 shitty more daes to go... I kip telling myself tat tym would fly pass quickly, yet it seems 2 travel at a snail's pace... Tick Tock Tick Tock... Haha, dere r tyms whrby i get reali frustrated at Dear Dear fer nt been in Singapore 2 acc me... Yet i feel tat i m actually beta off than him fer i stil haf my nice bed, my com, mom's cooking is always available etc... Dear Dear dun haf all these wif him nw n he stil haf 2 attend such tough trg... =/ I realise i can't reali blame him tat much... Poor Dear Dear, i feel rather guilty tat i can enjoy myself here in Singapore, while u r slogging ur life out in Thailand...

*It's reali a pity tat tym machines r nv successfully invented.*

Outings...

2006-03-19T01:53:00.000+08:00

Hung out wif my frend, Meanie 1 yesterdae... Haha, dere's a story behind y he's called Meanie 1 n i m Meanie 2!!! N our outing was juz plain fun fun fun!!! Chatted abt lots of things n caught de movie- Dorm... Man, sum parts of it is juz plain stupid n funny while de eerie sappy love song in de movie made sum parts real scary... Eric(Meanie 1) was nice enough 2 bring a jacket fer me juz in case it gets too cold in de cinema... De funny thing is both of us actually use de jacket 2 cover our eyes wen de atmosphere gets too scary... Wahaha... We sure haf lots of fun n laughter... =)

Hung out wif another frend 2dae... Man i m reali super tired... Played pool wif him fer 3hrs... He used 2b a national pool player so can u imagine hw stressed i feel wen i play wif him... He was pretty patient wif me at least... Leonard asked me out yesterdae n 2dae... Sumtyms i haf tis rather funny feeling tat my Dear Dear's frends r trying 2 find out whr i m n wat i m doing... I might get too overly suspicious of wat they r trying 2 do... Hopefully my Dear Dear haf enough trust in me tat i will nt try anything funny... N i m oreadi trying 2 solve tat big prob we haf... Hopefully everything wil be fine... I m nt gg 2 let go of him easily... I m sure of tat...

*Stil waiting fer ur return.*

2006-03-16T14:34:00.000+08:00

It has cum to a pt whrby i m abt 2 snap. I dunno hw much longer can i hold on. I realise in a relationship, dere's nt onli luv but aso many other factors tat might juz mk it shatter instantly. Dere's clearly a large prob i m facing now wif James. A prob so large tat it might juz threaten me to break off frm him. Call me a pessimistic but i think i cud onli chide myself fer being so naive. Naive enough 2 think tat i haf found my own happiness, my own true luv. Since wen i cud be so lucky? I wud perhaps nv be so lucky in my entire life. I cud onli cry, n yet his shoulder wud nt be here for me to lean on. I cud onli rely on cigarettes to numb my pain, yet it stil hurts deep down inside. I m thankful tat dere's no sleeping pills in my hse, otherwise i wud haf swallowed them all. Hah, sumtyms ppl can juz get so blind in luv tat they din noe they r in de process of killing themselves. N kill themselves did they slowly did... Oh sumbody juz kill me.

2006-03-15T01:54:00.000+08:00

WOW WOW WOW!!!! My Ayu looks so sexy here!!!! Tis is a new pic taken from sum men's mag... *drools*

Wet Wet Wet...

2006-03-13T16:03:00.000+08:00

Was typing n typing wen my com suddenly hang... Haiz, my entry juz went down de drain 5 mins ago... Tis explains y my updates got less as my com nw is abit sot... Met up wif my sec sch frends laz week, did lots of catching up... Got Kian 2 acc me 2 SIM open hse on sat... Met up wif Xinfu fer pool n dinner aft tat at hg plaza... Tym reali seems 2 pass super slowly without my Dear Dear arnd... Haiz...

I was telling my frends n my Dear Dear, i dun feel tat i m attached!!!! Reali!!! N i was mean enough 2 complain 2 Dear Dear abt tis wen he called me yesterdae... Dere was silence on de line wen i told him hw i feel... I reali felt guilty fer saying tat 2 him... Guess it's pms fer me laz nite... I called him anw!!!! Heehee, it's so fun 2b calling sum1 far away in another country... But i guess it's even more "fun" wen i see de hp bills... It's $2.60 per min from Thailand to Singapore n we haf been chatting fer hrs!!! I wana faint!!!! Hope he's nt oreadi bankrupt wen he returns...

*20 more daes to go.*

Food fer tot...

2006-03-08T13:40:00.000+08:00

Was supposed 2 do my laundry nw fer de weather seems pretty gd 2dae... But certain tots struck me out of a sudden, i decide 2 blog them down... I was thinking of hw others actually think of me n hw i actually think of others... I tot of James- sum1 hu is rather impt in my life nw... How does he actually think of me? M i stupid 2 him wen he noes i can't get into university, i mean wen he can? M i a mountain turtle 2 him wen i say i dun club, tat i haf nv been 2 Zouk, or MOS? Wat does he actually see in me? M i actually juz a ragdoll 2 him tat he can discard away aft he's gotten sick of me? Or does he juz wana settle down juz fer de sake of settling down? Wat m i actually 2 him?

I tot of many other ppl in my life... My mom, hu said i was trash wen she claims tat i always go out wif different men...( can u believe tat? she's saying her daughter is trash wen she hasn't even given her 1st kiss away? wat kind of trash is tat?) I tot of my jc best friends hu cudn't accept smokers... Yes i m afraid of admitting 2 u all i m a smoker... Fer i m afraid of losing u all... Dun ask me 2 stop smoking, i dun think i can ever truly stop... De most i can do is 2 nv ever smoke in front of u all... R all smokers bad? M i truly tat bad?

I m starting 2 loathe myself more n more... Fer life seems 2b getting more "blur" wif each passing sec... Sumtyms i'll laugh at myself fer thinking too much... Sumtyms i'll cry wen i worry too much... At tis pt of tym, i feel tat i nided James 2b physcially by my side, yet he can't... I hate it wen i realise i haf oreadi started 2 depend on him fer emotional fulfillment... Is tis reali true luv? Wat if it's not? N even wen it is, wen is it gg 2 last out?

*Hu de hell actually invented ragdolls fer ppl 2 play wif?*

2006-03-07T01:07:00.000+08:00

My fone rang. My heartbeat skipped once. I grabbed it. It's an unknown overseas no. I said "Hello." I heard his voice. Everything came back 2 me. Omg. He called from Thailand. Yes he did!!!! I dropped watever i was doing n held on 2 my fone. We tok fer almost 2 hrs.( can u imagine de hp bills?) I was reluctant 2 put down de fone. "I miss you!!!", i said into my fone. He said he did too. "Bye!", i said cheerfully, nt wanting him 2 noe hw sad i feel. It's tat same kind of sorrow creeping silently into me again.

*Hugs fer U n onli U.*

Come Undone

2006-03-06T23:37:00.000+08:00

Woke up tis morning n i realised de facts haf sink into me... De fact he has left, de fact i can't hear his voice, de fact tat i can't feel him, de fact tat everything might juz change within tis mth... I shook my head n smoked a cigarette rite aft i woke up... Yup i m back 2 my bad habit once i recovered from my terrible cough... It's nt tat i physically nid 2 do so, but at least smoking helps me 2 feel tat he's nearer 2 me, tat he has nv left me... I always lye 2 kip my feelings abt him 2 myself, i dun reali noe y, but perhaps i find it hard 2 express it 2 him face 2 face?

My fav song now: Duran Duran- Come Undone

My, immaculate dream made breath and skin I've been waiting for you Signed, with a home tattoo, Happy birthday to you was created for you (can't ever keep from falling apart At the seams Can't I believe you're taking my heartTo pieces) Oh, it'll take a little time, might take a little crime to come undone now (PRECHORUS) We'll try to stay blind to the hope and fear outside Hey child, stay wilder than the wind And blow me in to cry(CHORUS) Who do you need, who do you love When you come undone(repeat)(Verse 2) Words, playing me deja vu Like a radio tune I swear I've heard before Chill, is it something real Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers (Can't ever keep from falling apart At the seams Can I believe you're taking my heart To pieces) Lost, in a snow filled sky, we'll make it alright To come undone now

*I wud nv 4get wat haf happened in de car tat fateful dae. Tat kind of sorrow tat creeps silently into my hart was reali eating me from inside out. Tears rolled. Fingers trembled. Heartbeats raced. De onli wish i had in de car tat dae was 2 juz stay in dere wif u n nv cum out.*

2006-03-03T14:38:00.000+08:00

My forever frend prezzie from him, i think it's so cute!!!! *smiles*

2006-03-03T14:31:00.000+08:00

My prezzie n roses from him... It's a pity tat he can't find yellow roses, but i can settle wif de red ones fer nw... *grinz* I 4got 2 tk a pic of my little cake he bought fer me though, haiz...